November Update

Well, the year is almost over, and so is Lost and Found! I am now past the 15000 word count mark on Lost, and I’m working on the outline of Found. I’m writing about 500 words a day right now, and am over half way done with the rough draft. Once that’s done, I’m edit Taken one more time, then send it out to betas- hopefully before New Years, then the editor twice, and then formatting, all before April. I might even release it a little earlier if I get signed up for a signing event before it’s chosen release date!

As mentioned in a past recent entry, Finding Grace is now wide, so you can get it through most ebook sellers. I’ve decided to try to run an ad every week, even if it’s just a $5-15 dollar budget. It’s a good place to start with advertising, and if it works, I’ll add more money or try for the more costly advertising varieties.

I’ve had a new med added to my Lamectal, call Abilify. I’ve been more productive on it, and have been writing more, but recently (I’ve been on it a few weeks now), I’ve had this cloud in my head that coffee and aromatherapy is not getting rid of , though both do help.

Oh, and I made salsa!



And, finally, Post 3: Writing

Alright. So, a lot has been happening. I’ve decided to get a logo made, got new covers for the L&F series going, and have pick out the tentative release dates for each book. I finally figured out how the series is going to end, and I am really excited about it. I just hope I can do it justice, that I can capture the image in my head in words.

I’ve also decided to rework the blurb for Finding Grace. I’ve realized that it doesn’t really tell the readers about the book, or why they should read it. So, the goal for the end of the year is to have the blurb for Finding Grace redone, have it fixed on the print cover as well as the store sites, to have new bookmarks and other swag things made, and have business cards as well.

I’ve also been exploring “writing to market”. At first, I thought it was a horrible idea. How could I write a book that I didn’t even like? But I researched it a bit, I realized that the idea isn’t to write stuff that you wouldn’t read, but to search the market you’re already interested in and see if you can find a niche that you could be interested in, or a way to adjust how you’re writing. Like, one idea I found that seems to be overdone is female MCs that are loud and tough. One article mentioned that there is a lack of introverted characters that are just as likeable and tough, but don’t have to be mean to be interesting or strong. That’s not the only one, of course, and that could be just one person’s opinion, but it’s just something to think about when creating characters.

Another idea I’ve started playing with is making a journal of story ideas. This journal would basically be a collection of ideas that would get their own little two-five page section that would be used to try to flesh out the idea and see if it’s sometime I can/ want write. That way, when it’s time to decide on my next project, I already have an idea of what I’ve got ready.

Basically I’m just playing with ideas I get from the different writing groups I’m in, and the different writing friends I have. I never realized how much learning there was, and how there seems to always be something to learn. It’s definitely an interesting journey though!

November Post 2: For readers

This one’s gonna be pretty short. Stolen will be released January 29th of 2018. The book itself is done, it’s just waiting on formatting and the cover. Taken still needs a read-through before being sent out to betas and then the editor, but I’m hoping for it to go out April 24th. Lost is at almost 12,000 words, and I’m thinking about August 28th for it’s release, and October 23 to end the series with Found. I am excited to say, I now officially know how the series will end, and I am very excited about it!

Oh, also important, I am taking Finding Grace out of Kindle Unlimited. It will go wide hopefully two weeks from now, depending on how long it takes for the other avenues to approve it. I will make sure to post the links here as soon as they’re ready.

August Update

August started out iffy for me, but it’s looking up! I’ve got Stolen done and out for beta reading, Taken only needs one more read through before it’s her turn, so now I can put more focus into Lost’s outline, which I’ve been neglecting. I also reformatted Finding Grace! I am so excited about how more professional it looks. Now if only I could get Amazon to upload it right.

The reason I’ve gone ahead and reformatted Finding Grace so soon is because I’m going to start advertising it again. I took a break from marketing to work on the Lost and Found, but since it’s a month behind and I’m broke, I’ve decided to start advertising it again.

July Update!

Well, I am not where I was hoping to be with Stolen and Taken right now. I went through a Bipolar issue and wasn’t able to do a lick of writing for the last two weeks. Yesterday was the first I wrote more than 2 words. I was hoping to be sending Stolen to betas this weekend, along with being done with Taken and setting it aside for editing. Instead, I am adding ANOTHER new scene to Stolen, which means I’ll have to restart this round of editing, and I’m stuck on a paragraph I’m redoing in the last chapter of Taken.

The new plan is to have Stolen out to betas by the end of July, and maybe even have Taken ready too. Then, God willing, I will have Lost uber outlined, and will be able to get that written up quickly in August.

I am still in the process of outlining Lost, and I’ve started to roughly outline Found, getting all the main events listed out and all. I’m still not quite sure how to make the ending I want work, but I’ll get there when I get there.

June Update

It’s month update time! I know, I really put it off, but, in my defense, I’ve been busy!

I have now finished the new rough draft of Stolen, and, you guys, it makes me so happy. There’s plenty of editing to do, but I ended up adding about 10,000 words to it, before edits, so, needless to say, it’ll be quite a different read. Now that Stolen is being edited, I’ve started on Take, which needed more work than I was expecting. I’m about halfway done with it, since it’s still less work than Stolen needed, so my goal is to have it’s rough draft finished, and to have Stolen ready to send out to the beta readers by the end of June.

While doing this, I have also been working on the outline for Lost. I’ve had to figure a lot of details for it already, but I’m hoping that by super outlining it, I can write it a lot faster than the other two. My goal is to start typing in July and have the rough draft finished before school starts in August. The Ultimate Goal is to have it beta ready by then, but we’ll see.

I also started working with someone about the covers. It’s someone who has read the original books, so I can only imagine how awesome she’ll do. I’m starting now because 1. It gets them taken care and out of the way, and 2. Because it gives me time to pay them off before I need them. While my job continues to pay more and more, I still have to make sure I have bill money ready at the right time. I’m thinking I’ll only have eBooks available this time, and then do prints later, when I’m able to decide whether I can do signings next year or not. That, or if that many people want signed copies of the new version.

My hope is to have everything ready for release by January of next year, and be able to release them at a steady pace, a few months apart, but we’ll see. I’m still not sure how to handle the end of the book. I know how I want it to end, but I’m not quite sure how to get there.

Oh, and I am also starting the clean up of a room that, though it’s going to be used for storage, will also hopefully house an office space for me! It’s an extra room that goes unused now, and one of the walls has built in shelves, so if I lean off and move one of the desks over to it, I’d have the perfect little office space! More details *hopefully* next month!

A peek into depression.

Depression is not always about being sad.

I have absolutely no energy or motivation today. I’m able to make myself work on writing stuff and knitting, but even then I still have to convince my body to actually pick the required materials up, and then my mine to focus on them. Am I sad? Nope, I’m actually feeling pretty content, but my body is like, nope.
Now, some people might call this “being lazy”. Heck, my husband thought the same thing until he understood what was really happening. That my body is making every move a struggle, and that, as I sit here, thinking about all the things I should be doing, that needs doing, I’m fighting guilt that I’m a horrible wife, and a disappointment. That guilt will eventually eat at me until my brain succumbs to it, and I end up in tears over a silly comment my husband makes, not realizing what I’ve been doing to myself all day. 
Being aware of what’s happening only makes it worse sometimes. I know what’s going to happen, and yet I still can’t make myself make my body move. This will add to the guilt, which will add to the explosion that will eventually follow. God willing, it won’t happen at work tonight (which it has a few times, but was contained to the bathroom or my car, and was not actually related to what was said to me.)
This is why medication and mental health care is so important. Once my meds are figured out, these dark days will lessen, and be less serious. Everyone has bad days, so I will still have them, but they won’t be the kind that make me feel like the world would be better without me. But I don’t have to feel this way, and you don’t either. 

Omg, Another Entry…

…in the same month! Ya’ll should be proud of me. I don’t know if it’s the meds, but I have been a writing beast this week!

I am over halfway done on Stolen’s new rough draft, on chapter 10 of what is now out of 16 chapters instead of 14, and I’ve started a new, secret project that I am really excited about. It’s still in the planning stages (character names and development, outlines, etc), and I’m afraid to really go into details in case you all get excited about it and then I never finish it. If I do finish it, the hope is that I can put it out between The Lost and Found series and the In The Night series. It is a stand alone, so it’d be perfect for that, and is a bit different than what I’ve been writing so far, but it’s still in the YA romance fantasy genre, though I don’t think it qualifies as paranormal, but we’ll see.

As many of you should know by now, unless you’re a new follower and have not read my past entries, while I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, I have now officially been diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder. I go through hypo-manic and depression phases, but I have more depression phases than hypo-manic ones. I’ve been playing with lowering my processed sugar intake (not cutting it out completely, just lowering it) because it could be a trigger, and I think I’m right. Last night I had a lot of sugar. A Lot. Granted, it might be because I’ve been eating less of it this week (like I said, I haven’t cut it out completely), but it’s also only been a week, not a month, but today I’m having some trouble focusing on tasks, and my brain feels like it’s buzzing a bit, so I might be investing in sugar free stuff from now on. This is going to be interesting.

May Update

So, I finally writing again! One of my biggest fears was that, once I was on my medication, the words would stop. It’s silly, since I’ve been writing since I was, like, 6, but I’ve heard stories where hobbies you picked up without meds go away with meds. Well, now that I’m somewhat balanced, I’m back!

So, quick Stolen update. I’m am now on Ch. 9. I’ve added three new chapters, and 10,000 words to the original. It feels so much better now, and I believe it is becoming what it was supposed to be all along, before Grace butted in and took over. Right now, most of what I’ll be doing is adjusting the old chapters to fit the new ones, but there’s still plenty of new text to be added too. School’s out now, so hopefully I will get this book done by August. My ultimate goal is to have Stolen and Taken beta ready by August, but I refuse to rush them this time- defeats the whole purpose of the rewrites.

What Bipolar II Disorder means to me!

So, in the spirit of Mental Health Awareness Week, I am using my “grandiose phase” to write an entry about my doctor appointment today!

I have officially been diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder instead of just depression and anxiety disorder. So, what has been happening this last couple of months is that I was in (my first) full blown hypomania phase. Then I had to come down from it. This is not normal, and so won’t happen often. It’s basically when everything in me and around me becomes super intense, and it takes longer to recover from. It was triggered by being on too high of a dose of my medication. I am now in a slightly more normal  “Grandiose” phase, which means I have a lot of energy and excitement, and feel like i can do anything (within reason). This also means that this weekend I will probably have no energy and will get nothing done, which will trigger my depression phase.

Notice the pattern? A week of getting a lot done and feeling excited about a productive weekend, only to do nothing that weekend and then feel depressed about it? This is how I’ve been all of my life, and now that I can see it, it makes so much more sense.

So, hopefully now that I have this official diagnosis, we can get me on the right amount of meds that everything evens out. No Grandiose phase=no crash=no depression phase.

So why do I have Bipolar II and no Bipolar I (aka just Bipolar)? Because if I had Bipolar I, I might have had a Mania phase instead. Those happen often with Bipolar I (I would have had at least one by now, if not more), and usually result in a lot of risk taking behavior, like excessive drinking, sex, money spending (especially when you don’t have any), and just doing stuff that you normally wouldn’t do, and would likely regret once you can out of it. Mania episodes usually last long, and you crash harder, making them harder to recover from.

I’m actually lucky, because my hypomania phases are barely there, and they only last a week instead of potentially months, so I usually recover from them in a couple days. Now that I’m medicated, they shouldn’t even happen, so while I won’t have crazy energy and excitement, I will have have some, and I won’t need to recover from them.

What does this mean for my readers? Hopefully this means my writing will go back to how it was in March, before my intense hypomania phase. I can’t promise anything, since we’re still figuring the meds out, but that is the goal.